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In a tiny, plush Cabaret room in the bowels of Rosati, with an audience barely pushing the two digits, sweet-smiled Linda Catalano delves into sordid and not so sordid tales of the retail trade. Her press image for Shopper is a take on the infamous Chopper Read. He was Uncle Chop Chop. She is Auntie Shop Shop. And her weapons of choice are only slightly (if we are to believe her) less dangerous than guns. They are shoes.

And it’s with deadly shoes that she starts her show. A long winded story about the bloody cat fights and stiletto jabs instigated by a twice yearly sale at Miss Louise’s, an exclusive Melbourne shoe boutique, sets the scene for this city’s obsession with retail. From here, Catalano moves into descriptions of having a nervous breakdown in Ikea, being a bra-fitter at a large department store, behind the scenes nastiness of Chapel Street shop assistants and her elderly father’s obsession with antique writing implements on EBay.

Catalano has some good material and she speaks from the heart with a fresh and glowing presence. She daggily basks in singing an off key version of the 12 Days of Christmas to explain what Australians spent their $950 stimulation packages on, stereotypes bogan customers and old ladies and shows photos of some of the weirder statuettes available for purchase on a Catholic shopper website.

It’s an entertaining 45 minutes, even if you are not into shopping, but Catalano could tighten her act. It feels like she’s shooting the breeze at a party, and while that has its endearing qualities, a sharper, more concise execution of her anecdotes and impersonations would work better in a solo show. Never-the-less, Catalano is an extremely likeable, sweet personality, someone, unlike Chopper Read, who you can take home to mother. 


Linda Catalano is…
SHOPPER

Venue: Arthurs Bar 2 at Rosati | 95 Flinders Lane, Melbourne
Dates: 24th March – 18th April, 2010 (not Mondays)
Tickets: $20.00 Full Price, $16.00 Concession, Tightarse Tuesday $16.00
Times: 9:30pm
Bookings: ticketmaster.com.au / at the door